"THE GAINS LIE™ DAD HAT

For when the gym is therapy, but the therapist is a barbell.

🧢 THE HARD TRUTH:

• HeatGear® sweatband: Soaks up the sweat of "why did I think this would fix me?"

• 65% polyester, 35% delusion: Lightweight denial for maximum rep escapism.

• Pre-curved visor: Shields your eyes from toxic positivity ("Just smile more!").

⚡ WHY LIFTERS NEED THIS:

• Unstructured fit: Like your mental health journey—messy but functional.

• Adjustable strap: Because some days you need it tight to hold the chaos in.

• Embroidered UA logo: The only thing about you that’s "performance-optimized."

🚨 WARNING:

• May cause gym bros to ask "What’s your max?" when you just wanted to cry in peace.

• Does not come with emotional stability. (But neither does pre-workout.)

$2 FROM EVERY SALE FUNDS MEN’S MENTAL HEALTH.
(Proceeds go to making sure "just man up" dies as a phrase.)